THIS JUST IN: Megan Rapinoe Announces She’s Leaving the U.S.—“I Got No Respect”
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a stunning imaginary development, soccer icon Megan Rapinoe has reportedly… Read more
THIS JUST HAPPENED: Carrie Underwood & Elon Musk Join Forces to Take Down “The View”
In one of the most unexpected alliances in entertainment and tech history, country music… Read more
WNBA to Launch Gender Verification Olympics After Learning Brittney Griner Once Beat LeBron in One-on-One
In a move that stunned sports fans and left most scientists giggling into their… Read more
Trump Resurrects Lincoln’s Legacy—And Liberals Are Losing Their Minds
July 30, 2025 – Washington, D.C. At 7:01 AM sharp, without a single word… Read more
Trump Wants ‘Indians’ Back—But Who’s He Really Fighting For?
It wasn’t inflation. It wasn’t Ukraine. It wasn’t even Joe Biden dozing off during… Read more
Ellen DeGeneres Escapes to UK After Realizing Trump Won’t Be Canceled
Cheltenham, England – Former TV talk show host and professional hugger Ellen DeGeneres says… Read more
Ellen DeGeneres Begs to Return to U.S. After Realizing Tea Isn’t a Personality
London, UK – After years abroad sipping lukewarm tea, mastering the art of passive-aggressive… Read more
Whoopi Goldberg Accidentally Wins “Most Hated in Hollywood” Award Again, Beats Out Traffic and Kale
Hollywood, CA – In what insiders are calling “a statistical miracle, or perhaps just… Read more
She Unwittingly Rented an Apartment to Her Husband’s Mistress — and the Night That Followed Changed Everything
1. A Morning That Felt … Off Every dawn, she prepared the same comforting… Read more